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What is Wanting to Emerge in my Life


Regarding the assignment, even go boarder than your project. Start by writing your deepest level of what is wanting to happen in this current phase of life (your gifts coming thru and being used fully, broadening your capacity to feel, leading with desire, etc) and then go more concrete - i.e. what would it all look like. I have a sense that you know what you want out of your project, and once you go boarder, your desires will not be limited to or contained by your project, rather can bleed into all aspects of your life.

Freedom and power are pressing down upon me. No more does the idea of being slave to work control me. Deep down that inner voice is saying, more audibly now, “You don’t have to work so hard. You deserve fun and freedom. I am here to guide and support you. You have mined deep into the cave of your love. Enjoy the gems, let them shine and spread light upon you and those you love.”

I desire to teach, to speak, to write and perform poetry, to gather with musicians and listen. To learn to play the piano. I want to fly a plane! To be moved in so many ways. To feel and speak from the soul. To sit by a fire sipping tea, reading anything I desire and barely containing the nods, then surrendering to a sweet sleep. I long to have beauty as my expression and as the world I live in.

I have the gifts of wisdom, of caring, of beauty, of words and poetry, of listening, of peace, of love, of en-joy-ment!

What does this look like/feel like? Well, on the surface, a life that moves in a slower rhythm, that notices the beauty in and around. A meditative practice that unfolds daily into all my activities. It looks like walks and vacations. Like public speaking and teaching. Like intimate poetry and musical gatherings that I partake in and that I facilitate. It looks like a massage practice that expands into another caring, trustworthy bodyworker. It looks like more time counseling and teaching. It looks like ministerial school and deepening into my own understanding of Spirit. It feels like ministering to the dying, maybe as a chaplain. It is performing ceremonies of love and loss: memorials, weddings, blessings of children. It looks like income that is not diminished by my transition from long hours of massage to multiple facets of expression and revenue streams. It looks like sleeping in and a movie. It looks like sharing a full life in a loving, intimate relationship. It looks like taking more time to enjoy the wonder of my daughters and be a fountain of love, strength and guidance for them. It is saying “Yes!” to Mel’s invitations to travel and be together. It is hiking along the ridge of mountains with a backpack and being lost in wonder…

It smells like the welcome scent of food prepared from a garden. It tastes like the sweetness of sharing joyfully with friends and family the delights of my kitchen. It is the aroma of herbs and flowers that serenade me to sleep at night. It looks like art and fountains adorning walls of the earth. It looks like oaks, sycamores, and beautiful courtyards. It is the fragrance and splendor of flowers that find their way into vases. It shows up as creatively inspired ponds, herbal and native gardens. It is the gathering of people to expand into a deeper understanding of sustainability: workshops and demonstrations of permaculture. It is me passionately sharing cooking and simple practices of maintaining health. It feels like the caress of a hot bath with jets pounding on strong muscles and plunges into water so cold it take the breath away with a joyful shout.

My desire it to relax and expand and grow. To drink for a deeper broader well of life and give it back tenfold. To be prosperous beyond imagination and to do good in my unique, delicious way. To lie down at night pleased that I have learned something new and given in a meaningful way.

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